I found D&C 140!!!!

1 Put thine house in order, sayeth President Romney (insert footnote to Fox News here).
2 For thine homosexual bathroom incidents are an embarrassment to the last best hope of man on Earth.
3 Take the donations and flee into the makeup room, for the end is near
4 Therefore, purge those sinners from your midst, turn your back on Sodom and Idaho, for those who associate with sinners and social castoffs shall in no way inherit the powers, riches, thrones, principalities, and fame of the Earth.
5 Remember the life of Messiah, which demonstrates that one shall in no way mingle with mud and come through pure and unspotted before the media
6 Remember, remember, little Boy Scouts, that upon him, thine last boy scout, rests the mantle
7 Remember, the Lord looketh upon the outer image and seeth as the world, or the shallow men and women in it, see.